One who's learnt a lot about themselves in the past 12 hours and nothing has happened to trigger it.
A visit to some new friends last night made me realise very quickly how open, honest and naive I am. From the moment of meeting someone I throw myself out in the open and reveal the finest, most intricate details of myself. It's something I've done from high school but one relationship this year was a continuation of my introductory conversation for days and months on end to the point where words ran dry.
I'm starting to realise that I'm scared to let people down. With work, with family - I always have been. It's only now I realise that it trickles over into my relationships. My openess and honesty is my guard for disappointment. It stops people running away months into the relationship because they didn't know something about me. This blog is a very example of that.
Generation Y have almost no privacy nowadays with Facebook, MySpace, YouTube and Blogs our lives are out there for the world to view. I'm one of them but I'm strangely happier blurting it all out to my computer screen because I don't have friends I can sit down and talk to over cofffee at the drop of a hat because I'm down and most of the time that's all I need. Instead, I spend my weekends and my spare time stupidly drinking it away at a club hoping tomorrow, it'll all be better.
I've also come to realise how much I really care about my friends. The slightest sign of sadness, disappointment, anger or unrest and my heart sinks. I want to be the one to help. I've been told all my life that I'd make a great counsellor and I think now I know why.
But how can someone who lets their emotions pour out through other people's words in songs, or through writing to a computer screen, who clearly can't help themselves, help others?
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